What? David Ortiz wants less dramatic team, cites Yankees as example + FREE PICK FOR 10/14

It didn't involve Aaron Boone, Bill Buckner or Bucky Dent, but Wednesday may still go down as one of the worst days in Boston Red Sox history.



To recap: Almost every member of the team was flamed — possibly by management — in a controversial Boston Globe article, the two-time World Series GM bolted to Chicago and longtime DH David Ortiz capped it all off by saying he's thinking of bolting to another team via free agency.



Maybe even the New York Yankees.

Wait a minute. Big Papi? On the Yankees?

Yup. In a sitdown interview with ESPN's Colleen Dominguez, Ortiz said that "there's too much drama" surrounding the Red Sox and that he doesn't know "if I want to be part of this drama for next year."
Though he didn't directly say he wants to land with Boston's biggest rival, Ortiz did laud the pinstripes. It seems he admires the way the Yankees have not completely imploded after their season ended in the ALDS last week.



From ESPN Boston:

"It's great from what I hear," Ortiz said of the Yankees. "It's a good situation to be involved in. Who doesn't want to be involved in a great situation where everything goes the right way?
"They lost just like we did, they just went to the first round of the playoffs. I ain't heard nobody coming out killing everybody just because they lost."

Well, that would explain why Papi was hugging all those Yankees fans last summer.



Also, I'm wondering if A.J. Burnett and Alex Rodriguez would agree with Ortiz's "no drama" assessment of life in the Big Apple.



Overall, Ortiz had a great 2011 season, hitting .309/.398/.554 with 29 homers and 96 RBIs. But he melted along with his team in September as his power disappeared. He hit only one home run over the 26 games he played in the month.

Ortiz, who will turn 36 in November, made $12.5 million in the final year of his contract with Boston and will likely draw interest from other teams in search of a good DH. But the suitors probably wouldn't include the Yankees as Jesus Montero and A-Rod already have that position spoken for in 2012.

But it's kind of funny to imagine that Ortiz believes there's only one other team he can land on if he wants to part ways with the Red Sox. Nine seasons in Boston presumably have a tendency to narrow that worldview.

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How Jack McKeon handled Josh Beckett's clubhouse getaways

This season with the Boston Red Sox wasn't the only time Josh Beckett tried to leave the dugout and go back up to the clubhouse for some fried chicken and beer with a side of video games.



Back in 2003, Beckett and teammate Brad Penny did much the same thing when they played for the Florida Marlins. That's according to Jack McKeon, who was in his first stint as Marlins manager.

As he explained to Joe Capozzi of the Palm Beach Post on Wednesday, McKeon quickly dropped the hammer on any clubhouse chicanery by making sure his guys simply couldn't get in.

"I said, 'Hey, I got no rule against going up if you have to go to the bathroom or something, but get back.' A couple of times I looked down the bench to talk to somebody and they weren't there. They were in the clubhouse. So I went up and got them out and said, 'OK, boys that's it. We'll lock the door.'"

After chasing Beckett and Penny out of the clubhouse (with a bat in hand, he claims), McKeon then channeled his inner elementary school teacher. Anyone who needed to use the clubhouse for No. 1 or No. 2 had to get a bathroom pass — or as McKeon called them, "poo-poo cards and pee-pee cards" — from the manager. Needing permission to leave the dugout squashed any sneaking off.



All of which begs the question: Do you think Terry Francona read that article, put his face in his hands, and thought, "Poo-poo and pee-pee cards. Man, why didn't I think of that?"

Obviously, the situations with the 2003 Marlins and 2011 Red Sox are completely different. McKeon was an old-school type asserting his authority while trying to instill some good habits in his younger players who had yet to come into a lot of money. Francona is more of a player's manager who trusted his high-paid veterans to lead themselves, only to ultimately be tuned out.



Here's a great idea, though: Maybe Theo Epstein's replacement in Boston can bring on McKeon as a consultant next season. When the players get out of hand, lock up the clubhouse and bring out the poo-poo and pee-pee cards. See if they blow another nine-game wild-card lead then.